For years, I was the epitome of the “success train”—driven, focused, and climbing the corporate ladder. As a prominent CEO, I lived by the belief that success meant more titles, achievements, and accolades. But life had a way of derailing that train and teaching me lessons I could never have anticipated. 

After a very public professional failure and a life-altering diagnosis of a brain tumor, I found myself questioning everything. I fought hard to get back on track, back to what I thought success looked like. But once I returned to work, I realized something surprising: I wasn’t happy. That’s when it hit me—I was on the wrong train. The definition of success I had held for so long no longer fit. 

Redefining Success: Lessons Learned 

Here’s my truth: my success is not about the title I hold, the salary I earn, or the recognition I receive. It’s about living a life aligned with my values and being able to spend time with my family. It’s about making an impact on as many people as possible, and helping people see that there is more to their future than they allow themselves to see. Along my journey, I’ve learned a few key lessons about what it means to redefine success: 

1. You Are Loved for Who You Are, Not What You Achieve 

When I lost my job, I feared losing the respect and love of those around me. But I quickly learned that the people who mattered most loved me for who I was, not for my title or achievements. 

Read that again: You are loved for who you are, not for what you achieve. 

This realization gave me the courage to step off the success train and explore what I truly wanted from life. 

2. Your Definition of Success Is Yours to Create 

It’s easy to get caught up in societal expectations or what others define as “success.” But the truth is, you have the power to create your own definition. 

For me, success is no longer about climbing the corporate ladder. It’s about spending time with my daughter, being present for my family, and using my experience to help others create meaningful life changes. 

Take a moment to ask yourself: How do you define success?  

Often our definition comes from our upbringing, our society, and/or our cultural expectations. You may be surprised to find what you just wrote is not what you really want at all, but what others want. 

Take another moment to ask yourself: Is the definition of success I just defined mine? Is it what I really want? Or is it someone else’s? 

Silencing the “Mindcluck” 

Redefining success isn’t easy. Along the way, I had to deal with what podcast host, Maria T. Finch calls “mindcluck”—the loud, unhelpful voices in my head telling me I wasn’t good enough or that I was making the wrong choices. 

Here’s how I’ve learned to silence the “mindcluck”: 

1. Let Your Emotions Flow 

When you feel angry, sad, or frustrated, allow yourself to feel those emotions. Then, ask yourself: Why do I feel this way? This process can help you uncover limiting beliefs and patterns that may be holding you back. 

2. Identify the Source of the “mindcluck” 

Often, our inner critic comes from a specific part of us—a part that may be trying to keep us safe but is ultimately holding us back. When you recognize this voice, you can choose to “retire” it and replace it with a more empowering narrative. 

3. Focus on Positive Voices 

When you’re happy and fulfilled, take note of the voices in your mind. How do they differ from the “mindcluck”? By focusing on and strengthening these positive voices, you can rewire your brain. As neuroscientists say: Neurons that fire together, wire together. 

Pause to Tune into Yourself 

One of the simplest yet most powerful tools I’ve learned is the pause. 

The next time you feel tense, stressed, or notice your stomach clenching, stop and ask yourself: Where is this coming from? 

By tuning into your body and emotions, you can uncover what’s truly bothering you and take steps to address it. 

What’s Your Next Step? 

Creating your own definition of success isn’t a one-time event—it’s an ongoing journey. It requires self-reflection, courage, and the willingness to let go of what no longer serves you. 

If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure of your next step, take a moment to pause and ask yourself: 

• What does success mean to me? 

• What brings me joy and fulfillment? 

• What do I need to let go of to move forward? 

Remember, you don’t have to do this alone. Whether it’s through coaching, support from loved ones, or your own quiet moments of reflection, there’s always a way forward. 

Success isn’t about what you achieve; it’s about who you become. By silencing the “mindcluck” and embracing your unique path, you can create a life that’s meaningful, fulfilling, and entirely your own. 

Want to learn more?  Tune into my conversation with Maria on the Silence the Mindcluck Podcast