I recently sat down with Jennifer Peterkin on the Human Experience podcast to talk about life experience and how it shaped my ideas on leadership, identity, and resilience.
In 2011, I was appointed by Governor O’Malley with a monumental task: to lead the Maryland Health Benefit Exchange—the state’s implementation of what many know as Obamacare. At that time, I was full of optimism, determination, and a deep belief that we were transforming lives by offering peace of mind through accessible and affordable healthcare.
Despite our best efforts, things didn’t unfold as planned. The system didn’t work perfectly on day one, and I lost my job in a very public way. This chapter of my life was just the beginning of a series of events that would redefine my identity, my career, and my outlook on life.
The Highs and Lows of Leadership
Leading a project of this magnitude wasn’t just a professional challenge—at the time, I thought it was my true calling. I couldn’t have believed more in what we were doing, even when it meant working long hours and making countless personal sacrifices. We enrolled 300,000 people in the first year, which I still view as a success.
Yet, when things didn’t go as planned, the public scrutiny fell squarely on me. Accountability and responsibility go hand in hand, and as the CEO, I understood that the fallout was part of the role.
While this experience was painful, it also taught me a powerful lesson: failure doesn’t define you; how you rise afterward does.
A Life-Altering Diagnosis
Just two years later, in 2015, my life took another unexpected turn. After experiencing single-sided deafness for several years, I finally went to the doctor to learn I had a brain tumor the size of a golf ball. Although the tumor was benign and operable, the experience was life-changing.
In the days between my diagnosis and surgery, I grappled with questions no one is ever fully prepared to answer:
- What kind of legacy do I want to leave behind?
- Who am I beyond my job title?
- What truly matters in my life?
These reflections weren’t just existential—they were transformative.
Rediscovering Myself Through Recovery
The recovery process was grueling. My face was paralyzed for a year and will never fully recover. I lost hearing completely in one ear, and to this day, I face persistent balance issues that cause serious limitations. Physically, I wasn’t the same person, and emotionally, I felt like I had lost a part of my identity that I would never get back.
Yet, through this journey, I learned the value of compassion—not just for others but for myself. As a life-long perfectionist, I had always driven myself to achieve more, believing that if you just try harder, you will achieve your result – and conversely, if you haven’t achieved your result, you just haven’t tried hard enough. Recovery forced me to redefine what success meant, recognize that sometimes working harder doesn’t solve the problem, and, most amazingly, where love comes from.
Over time, my definition of success became less about titles and achievements and more about time, connection, and impact. Part of that process was learning that people loved me for who I was, not for what I did for them.
Choosing a New Path
After returning to work and proving to myself that I could still do the high-level job, I had a pivotal realization: I didn’t want that life anymore. I realized I wasn’t happy, and maybe I hadn’t been fully happy even before my diagnosis.
I realized that I didn’t want to miss another opportunity to put my daughter on the school bus or be bound by 8 AM meetings. I wanted time to reflect on my priorities. So, I walked into my boss’s office and resigned, choosing to step into the unknown to create a life aligned with my values.
My Next Chapter
Leaving the corporate world was both terrifying and liberating. I had already invested in myself by going to coaching school, but when I quit, I wasn’t sure what the next step was going to be. I founded Extend Yourself Coaching & Consulting to help other successful people navigate their own transitions, challenges, and opportunities.
As an executive coach, I now work with high-performing leaders and business owners who feel stuck in the day-to-day – who know they have the ability to change the world, but can’t find the time to do it. Together, we elevate their thinking so they can remember their purpose, tackle the emotional barriers holding them back, and develop actionable strategies to move forward.
My coaching approach balances two essential elements:
- Emotional Insight: Understanding what’s holding you back and addressing limiting beliefs.
- Practical Strategy: Developing tangible steps to create the change you want in your life and career.
When you coach with me, I create the environment that both gives you the space to learn and grow and also holds you accountable for the changes you want to make.
Lessons Learned from My Journey
Through my experiences, I’ve learned that:
- Identity isn’t static. You’re allowed to grow, pivot, and redefine who you are.
- Failure is part of the journey. It doesn’t diminish your value—it shapes your resilience.
- Time is our most valuable asset. Spend it on what truly matters.
- Self-compassion is key. You are enough, even on the days when you feel like you’re not.
Life’s challenges have a way of forcing us to reevaluate what’s truly important. You don’t need a public failure or a health crisis to make a change you’ve been longing for. You can choose to prioritize what matters most today.
If you’re ready to step into the life or leadership role you’ve always wanted, reach out to talk about what’s possible. Together, we can create a plan that helps you lead with purpose, clarity, and confidence.
